I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately since we are at the end of April. I know Mother's Day is quickly approaching. I think that I will always have a new meaning of Mother's Day. I know of course it is the celebration that I am a mommy to my 3 little girls and I celebrate my own mom, but there is something that I will never forget. See, last year on Mother's Day that is when Jon told me he thought that we should adopt. I remember my reaction like it was yesterday. I just couldn't believe that he was saying this. I really did not know how it was even going to be possible. I mean coming up with $30,000 seemed so far off. He believed and knew that it would happen. I just didn't know how I would feel towards an adopted child. Will I love them like my own? How will this make me feel? All selfish thoughts. As time went on and I prayed about what we should do I felt that God was giving me the same calling as Jon. He works it all out!! I knew that God was giving me a love for another child. It is amazing what happens when you allow God to work when you follow his calling. Going through the piles of paperwork, you dream of the day that you see your precious little one. I will never forget the call we recieved in March that forever changed our family. I knew from the moment that I saw her picture that it was my little Piper. I didn't know what it would feel like to open her file. I saw her beautiful face and I instantly started to fall for her. I look at her picture a million times a day when I can get a glance and I just love this little girl. I really do!!
I also am reflecting more on this that what I have mentioned. See Jon told me last mother 's day. What I didn't know is that our little girl was born a few weeks after Mother's Day last year. When I think of this, I cannot help but feel that God had already knew who our daughter was going to be. He knew she was going to be born a few weeks later and that Jon needed to get the ball rolling so to speak. God had work to do in me during that time. He prepared me and I soon was on board so we started our process in August. I remember being on vacation and he and I talked endlessly about adopting. I got to a point where I felt that God was tugging me saying---what are you going to do about it? When we came home I believe we submitted our application to our agency that weekend. Even to see how things went afterwards with paperwork. I am the type of person to follow a list and I have to cross things off so I had a lot of our paperwork done before the next step. I am thankful that I did because in January when we were getting ready to submit our dossier, I remember someone saying to me: why are you in a hurry to get these papers done? Maybe you are taking this in your hands and not Gods. You see, if I wouldn't have been on top of our paperwork we would not have seen our little girl in March. I had a feeling that I needed to get the paperwork done and submitted to our agency. I am so glad that I followed my gut and Gods leading.
I also have been reflecting on What if we said no? What if we didn't want to go down this road? What if we didn't raise the funds needed? What if this would be too hard? Our hearts would have never been changed, we would have not stretched our faith, we would not have met the people we have along the way, we would have not reconnected with friends who had adopted, we would have stayed in our square box. I just cannot imagine if we said no. We would have never seen Piper's beautiful face. She wouldn't be a part of our family. Would we even know that she was missing from our family? See God uses many different things to stretch our faith. What are we willing to do to allow him to stretch us? What are we willing to do to just go all out for God? As I type the song by Casting Crowns keeps coming into my head "Jesus friend of sinners, open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointed fingers. Let our hearts be led by mercy help us reach with open hearts and open doors. Oh Jesus, friend of sinners break our hearts for what breaks yours"
As I sit here today I am truly amazed at how this has been a journey of faith that I never knew we would be on. God has moved so many mountains for this little girl!! He 100% has her in the palm of his hands. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I know that he has put her on our hearts but I think that our faith and our relationship with Jesus has grown so much throughout this process. This has changed us forever!!! Something I never thought of before this. Our hearts have been changed to help with the need of helping orphans. I believe that God has a plan for us to do something with this in the future. I am holding on and can't wait to see see what he reveals to us.
Happy Mothers Day!! I am so excited to be celebrating my 4 little girls. God has blessed me so much with these 4 little gifts!!
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