Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A Day of Blessings and Some Challenges

Jon and I have seen so many blessings these past few days.  Yesterday I went to the post office to get a money order for our child abuse clearances.  I have to say--I don't always have cash on me.  I had just cleaned so I had taken my check to the bank and got $20 in cash back.  I thought enough for the money order.  Well the last time I went for a money order it was like 50 cents.  It was $1.10.  It has more than doubled.  Well I ended up being short 60 cents.  The clerk at the post office just winked and said I printed it anyway.  Don't worry about it.  I know you will pay it another time.  So off I went with my money order.  Today Jon had a doctors appointment because he had ended up getting new hearing aids.  We were planning on paying about $1200.00 for them.  When he went in today the woman he met with said that he is only responsible for $500.  We are in the midst of preparing for our home study by obtaining lots of legal documents.  I have mentioned before that we are not sure where all of the money is going to come from for the adoption.  Through these past few days, we can already see that God is lining up some funds for us to be able to use towards our home study.  He is controlling the scenes that is for sure. 

Tonight however was a little challenging.  Jon had worked a long day.  I had the girls and tried to attempt doing some errands.  Audyn had gotten sick in the car and I had that to clean up when we got back.  She also wasn't feeling good so I was giving her some extra cuddles today.  I think that Satan really tries to attack when things are going well.  On all aspects of our lives.  Our marriage and our family.  Satan for sure does not enjoy seeing that God's glory is being seen.  I had a talk with my mother in law.  She said that Satan is like a lion right around the bush or the corner ready to attack especially when things are going well and we are obeying God's calling.  She said I really need to focus on God and all of the good things that have been going on and most of all have Grace.  After our discussion I sat down at my computer and I received a devotional and you will never believe what it said.  It had recapped everything I had just talked about with my mother in law.  I will include a copy here from the Daily Devotional from Love Worth Finding Ministries with Adrian Rogers:

Be Vigilant - You Have An Enemy

 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
Your adversary the devil is prowling about like a roaring lion. Don’t underestimate his power.
Satan is an enemy you need to respect like an electrician who has respect for the wires that carry deadly voltage. He knows where the insulation is and he knows how to handle electricity. If an electrician loses his respect for this power, he is going to be in serious trouble.
Everything may be going great for you right now. You’ve got money in the bank, a good job, good health. You’re dancing through the forest and picking wildflowers. But behind a bush is a lion so deadly, he can pounce on you and swallow you whole. You’ve got to be vigilant.


Over the past few months, there have been so many signs--verses, songs, and even Sunday's church service.  We have been reflecting on Dan Sheldon's sermon since then.  It was about living for God "today."  We cannot live for yesterday or for the future.  Our plans can change easily.  We of course can think about what our future may look like but God knows what our future will be.  He had said that we need to live for "today" and obey God's calling.  It was a very powerful message.  Jon and I kept looking at each other.  We have been obeying and following each step that he has given us.  We have been trusting his path and we know that he will be there every step of the way. I knew we were meant to hear this sermon this past Sunday. 

Monday, August 22, 2011

"One Less"

How our Journey Began

I will never forget when Jon told me that he had a desire to adopt a child.  He told me Mothers Day, May 8th.  He came to me at night when the girls had gone to bed.  His eyes were twinkling and he said to me, “Jenn, I have something I need to tell you.  I don’t know what you are going to say.  I have always had a heart to adopt and after 3 children I never thought it would happen.  In fact, God has been putting it on my heart.  I have been wrestling with him for quite some time, telling him no God!  I already have 3 children.  I don’t want another one.  This desire was just not going away.  He needed to tell me.” 

I was shocked, especially at the fact that he was saying he wanted another child.  He had always said that three were enough.  I still remember having Audyn and holding her thinking that I could have had another child.  He was the one that would have needed convincing.  I think that I was mentally preparing myself that 3 was all that we would probably have. 
My next thought was how are we ever going to pay for an adoption.  It is really expensive!!!  He said, “Jenn, I believe God will provide if he wants us to do this.”  I have to say I was really unsure about going down the whole adoption avenue.  I really did not have an interest at all.  He just said, “I have been and will continue to pray and if it is God’s desire then he will put it on your heart too.”

I still was not on the same page for months.  I would come home from doing errands and there would be a packet on our porch from another adoption agency.  I would roll my eyes, pick it up and mumble, he’s at it again.  I would pick up the packet, bring it inside, put it on the counter and then just tell him later when he got home that he had another packet.  I didn't even open them!!  I would sit on the couch at night and night after night, he would research adoption.  He would send me e-mails of information.  I have to say that I don't think that I even read any of the e-mails.  He would ask me and I said yes I saw that you sent it but I didn't have a chance to read it. 

After months of him praying for me, I started to feel that God was moving in my heart too.  He was definitely giving me a strong desire to adopt a child.  I had so many things that just started to happen to me.  I felt him speaking to me through music, verses, and then placing people in my path.  I knew God was putting things in place for me.  I remember driving in the car and hearing a song called “I Refuse” by Josh Wilson.  (It is on my playlist below)  I was listening to the words and things just really sunk in for me.  It talks about refusing to sit around and wait for others to do what God has called us to do.  We are the hands and feet for others for them to see God's glory.  When he calls us to move, we need to follow through.   I really felt God speaking to me through this song. 

I also received countless e-mails from devotionals that I receive and every one of those e-mails pertained to what I had been processing and also about trusting God.  Having faith to believe that if God calls us to do something big, he is in the background making everything happen.  He is controlling the scenes.  ALL of them.

I had also gotten a journal from a friend for my birthday in April.  I had it sitting on my nightstand, with something else on top of it.  I was looking for a book that I could record some adoption information in.  When I moved a few things on my nightstand, I came upon this journal that I had received.  On the front of it it said "With God all things are Possible Matthew 19:26"  It was truly a good reminder again placed at the perfect time.

If you know me, I LOVE little, little babies.  In fact I had mentioned earlier that in the hospital right after Audyn was born, I was holding her and looking at her.  I had thought to myself.  I could do this again.  I could.  Jon had said no way.  Three is good.  Before looking at all of the baby stuff, I just couldn't let go of it.  You know, get rid of it.  About a month ago, a friend of mine came over with her newborn baby boy.  I looked at him and thought he was absolutely adorable but I felt like God was saying to me that I am not going to have another little one like that.  He was saying that my next one would be a little older.  I feel like I have a peace about that.  Which is surprising to me.  He has for sure been working on me.  You may not understand this, but I truly feel that God has already gave me a love for a child that I do not know or have even met yet.  I have not even seen a picture but I believe that he has a child that will be waiting for us.

We started to put some steps into action.  We had a couple of meetings where we went to talk to adoption agencies and also had some phone conversations with an adoption agency.  We had also connected with friends of ours who are currently going through the adoption process.  In fact they are there as we speak, getting their daughter.  We used to hang out back in high school.  It has been at least 11 years since we had seen them.  It is so neat to see how God works and brings people you already know back into your life to serve his mission and help each other out.  They have been giving us advice, and walking with us through the beginning processes.  They have been praying for us too. 

After meeting with some agencies and talking with them, we felt that God was leading us to use Holt International as our agency.  We sent in our application in on August 13th.  We heard back from them August 18th welcoming us into the Program!! 

Please pray for us as we start the process of our journey.  I know that it will be challenging but God will not let go of us or this precious child.  We will need to do some fundraising to help raise funds to bring our child home.  That was hard to think about but I have realized that this is a mission that God has called us to.  I know that God will provide because he never calls us to something we cannot do.