Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Happy 2nd Birthday Piper!

Today is Piper's 2nd birthday.  A day I have waited for and dreamed of celebrating with our daughter.  I wanted to capture everything I could so I would not forget.  We started our day by the girls and I going into her room to sing Happy Birthday.  Lets just say I don't think that she was a fan of all of our singing first thing in the morning.  She was all smiles though when we went downstairs and she had her morning bottle and breakfast :)



We played at home for a bit and then we headed to go to the playground nearby.  We went and sat under a pavilion on a picnic table and all ate lunch together.  We had a good time together having special talks and everyone being thankful to get outside.  But boy was it a hot one!  We ate and then the girls played on the playground for a bit.  Piper especially liked the swings.  The other three were in random parts wanting to do all sorts of things. 




After the park, we went to Wegman's to pick up Piper's special ladybug cupcakes and her birthday fruit cake.  It looked so yummy and her eyes lit up when we were in the store when she saw a fruit cake.  I know it was not the same as what the children get in Ch*na but I have seen that the kids get cakes with fruit on them.  She seemed to be excited so I was excited that she was getting a special treat. 

We ordered Ch*nese food for dinner.  We had sweet and sour chicken, chicken and broccoli and pork lo mein with pork fried rice and egg rolls.  We all shared and had an assortment.  Piper's favorite was the pork lo mein.  She LOVED it and couldn't get enough.  I enjoyed watching her shove noodles into her mouth and seeing some hanging out. 

After dinner, I took Yu Mei, Audyn and Ava outside to play for a little.  Isabella had Irish dance so we played outside until Daddy and Isabella came home.  I had a good time watching the girls play.  Then we went inside to have cake and sing to our little birthday girl! 

After dinner, we sang happy birthday to her as a family.  She looked at us and was really not sure what this whole cake/candle thing was and all of the singing.  In fact she was fascinated with the candle and almost touched it!  Gave me a scare. 



Later, we got ready for bed and I couldn't help but capture that part of our day too.  This is one of my favorite cuddle times.  I sing to her and she sings back.  I sing to her Jesus Loves Me and You are My Sunshine.  I pray with her and when I do she always closes her eyes and holds my hand.  At the end when I say amen, she says amen.  Absolutely priceless.  I just love this little girl!!


We are so thankful and blessed to have this little girl in our lives.  So extremely grateful that God handpicked her for us.  We cannot wait to see all that God has in store for you precious one.  Happy Birthday!!  We love you!! 

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Tomorrow is Piper's 2nd birthday!

Wow!  I cannot believe it is that time to celebrate our daughter's 2nd birthday.  Our little one's birthday is tomorrow.  As I put her to bed tonight, she was giggling, pointing to me and she kept saying mama over and over again.  She had the cutest little twinkle in her eye and I could see her smile beaming from underneath her binky.  Oh how I love this little girl!!!   I of course started thinking, and reflecting.  I cannot believe tomorrow is her 2nd birthday--her first birthday with our family.  I am so excited to celebrate her tomorrow.  I feel torn right now and am so thankful that I can process it through.  Right now I feel like my heart is torn.  The one part of me is so excited to spend tomorrow with my little birthday girl and then the other part of my heart is aching.  Aching for her mother.  I cannot help but think of her a lot right now.  I just cannot imagine what she may be thinking and wondering.  She has to remember giving birth to her daughter 2 years ago.  Right?  You just cannot forget about that.  I know I would never be able to forget.  My heart hurts because I know she may be hurting remembering this week two years ago.  She was anticipating her little ones birth only to find that she couldn't keep her.  Seeing my girls when they were born I cannot imagine what it must have been like for her waiting to find out what the sex was of the baby and if it had any special needs or not.  I cannot imagine knowing I would have to give my baby away or leave her somewhere hoping that someone would find her and take her somewhere where she would be cared for.  She had her for a few days before Piper was abandoned.  I know her eyes were what melted my heart when I first saw her picture.  I know that they must have melted hers too.  With all of the excitement I am struggling with what she does not get to see or hear.  My heart aches because she does not get to see the smile I get to see.  She does not get to hear her call her mama like I do.  She does not get the sweetest hugs and kisses like I get.  She does not get to hear her call mama from her crib when she wakes up like I do.  She does not get hear the words I love you like I do.  She does not get to see her giggle and have fun while she is enjoying life like I do.  She does not get to see how much she loves her sisters like I do.  There are so many things that she will never get to see.  I pray that God would give her peace and a sense that her daughter is with our family and very much loved.  Recently I started praying this new prayer for her mother after I had the chance to discuss some of what I am feeling with my daughter's birthday and how I was conflicted being excited and then also heartbroken for her mother.  My friend shared that she prays for her daughter's mother that God would send someone into her life that would share the gospel with her and that she would be saved and see her daughter in heaven.  I never thought of it that way.  I always thought of her adoption being final and that was it.  So with that I started praying this for her mother.  I pray that she can see her daughter again in heaven.  So with this, I am going to end by writing a letter to my daughter's mother. 

To My Daughters Mother,

I want you to know that I think of you often.  I think about what you must have been like and what traits my daughter has that are from you.  If she likes things that you may have liked.  I wonder if her behaviors, her determined behavior comes from you.  I wonder if her beautiful eyes came from you.  Today especially I am thinking of you on our daughter's birthday.  I want you to know that I am shedding tears because my heart aches that you had to endure what you did.  My heart aches because you miss what I get to see and enjoy every day.  I wish you could see what I get to see.  I wish you could see what a special little girl Piper is.  She is just the sweetest little thing.  She is very determined, very smart, very loving, caring, has the cutest smile, just enjoys life and everything around her.  You would be proud of her I know.  I know the decision you had to make was one of the hardest you have ever had to do.  I want to thank you for giving her life and a chance to have a family.  I thank God every day that I get to be her mama.  I know that before she was born God had a plan for her.  I will be praying for you that God would give you peace and comfort that your little girl is with a family, very much taken care of and of course VERY loved.  A piece of you will always be with me. 

Thank you for the gift you gave me.

Piper's Mama 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Our First Mother's Day Together!

Today was a day I have longed for.  A day that will always be special to me.  You see two years ago on Mother's Day was when Jon told me he was feeling like God was calling us to adopt.  I looked at him very hesitant and thought it would be impossible due to the adoption costs.  Last year, we had our sweet little girls picture in our hands and of course she was engrained on our hearts.  She was halfway around the world in an orphanage.  How I longed to have her here in my arms, with our entire family.  This year I woke up with her calling me from her crib, "Mama, Up.  Mama, Up."  I went in and scooped her up, blankie and binky and all and we cuddled for a bit before we actually got moving.  I gave her her morning bottle and then we got ready for church.

For days last week I had thoughts about mother's day and how it just felt different for me this year.  I was looking forward to it but didn't know how it would affect me emotionally.  The night before mother's day, a friend of mine told me you guys should watch this movie "Listen to Your Heart."  It is great.  So I asked my hubby if he could look it up on Netflix.  There it was.  We watched it but I never got the warning that I needed tissues.  Lots of them!!  There was a strong message that was clearly gotten across to us.  Just because it might be hard doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.  You may miss out on the biggest moments in your life.  Boy that hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was fighting and now to open to adoption when he told me.  I think it was financially that I was scared.  I knew we didn't have the funds to pay for the actual adoption.  I didn't want to wrap my heart around it and then have it completely shattered.  WOW!  To sit here and reflect on how this journey started and to see where I am now is unbelievable.  God showed up in many different ways.  He kept pointing different signs straight to me until I finally listened to his call.  Here we are now.  Seeing my little baby girl blossom and how she has allowed me to be her mama is amazing.  A complete gift!!!  I love this little girl WITH ALL OF MY HEART!!  I look at her and I am proud and so thankful to be her mama.  I am truly blessed.  To think if I would have been so stubborn and held my grounds what I would have missed out on.  I would have missed out on this journey that God has called me to.  A love that I would have never been able to experience.  I am so thankful that I said YES.