Sunday, May 12, 2013

Our First Mother's Day Together!

Today was a day I have longed for.  A day that will always be special to me.  You see two years ago on Mother's Day was when Jon told me he was feeling like God was calling us to adopt.  I looked at him very hesitant and thought it would be impossible due to the adoption costs.  Last year, we had our sweet little girls picture in our hands and of course she was engrained on our hearts.  She was halfway around the world in an orphanage.  How I longed to have her here in my arms, with our entire family.  This year I woke up with her calling me from her crib, "Mama, Up.  Mama, Up."  I went in and scooped her up, blankie and binky and all and we cuddled for a bit before we actually got moving.  I gave her her morning bottle and then we got ready for church.

For days last week I had thoughts about mother's day and how it just felt different for me this year.  I was looking forward to it but didn't know how it would affect me emotionally.  The night before mother's day, a friend of mine told me you guys should watch this movie "Listen to Your Heart."  It is great.  So I asked my hubby if he could look it up on Netflix.  There it was.  We watched it but I never got the warning that I needed tissues.  Lots of them!!  There was a strong message that was clearly gotten across to us.  Just because it might be hard doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.  You may miss out on the biggest moments in your life.  Boy that hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was fighting and now to open to adoption when he told me.  I think it was financially that I was scared.  I knew we didn't have the funds to pay for the actual adoption.  I didn't want to wrap my heart around it and then have it completely shattered.  WOW!  To sit here and reflect on how this journey started and to see where I am now is unbelievable.  God showed up in many different ways.  He kept pointing different signs straight to me until I finally listened to his call.  Here we are now.  Seeing my little baby girl blossom and how she has allowed me to be her mama is amazing.  A complete gift!!!  I love this little girl WITH ALL OF MY HEART!!  I look at her and I am proud and so thankful to be her mama.  I am truly blessed.  To think if I would have been so stubborn and held my grounds what I would have missed out on.  I would have missed out on this journey that God has called me to.  A love that I would have never been able to experience.  I am so thankful that I said YES. 



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